Time moves slowly at Marylebone Cricket Club

I've just found out that there is corruption in the Pavillion at the MCC, that proud bastion of upright Englishness, tradition, handlebar moustches, club ties and cricket – and the rot is in the very highest echelons of that august organisation. It has become obvious that the President, Mike Brearley, is actually a dangerous pinko leftie liberal reactionary who has suggested that the dress code for the Pavillion at Lords be 'relaxed'.

I have to admit that although this has only recently come to my attention this isn't new news (The Telegraph, 10^th December 2007) Still, in the context of a club that only allowed women to join less than 10 years ago it would be almost perverse to be up-to-date with its goings-on. With an 18 year waiting list, a young man will be middle-aged by the time he gets in, so seditious revolutionaries had better be playing the long game when they put their names down.

Before you get over-excited, note that this is just a suggestion by the ex-England Captain Brearley, whose reputation for scruffiness appears to nearly overshadow his cricketing career. Apparently one member of his team wore a t-shirt with a rude slogan on! What a damned poor show! Anyway, he's put the idea out for consultation, and I'm amused by how hilariously controversial the whole thing is. On Middlesex internet message boards (didn't know you could type on a computer with a quill pen) there is serious discussion about the implications of people not wearing their club ties. Like Chicken Licken, some people seem to think the sky might fall down.

The reason this cricket thing caught my eye is that there's an analogy to be drawn with golf, which also insists on 'appropriate attire'. The analogy falls down on examination, however, because how many of us are ever going to get invited to Lords by a member of the MCC? It's never going to affect more than a handful of people in an elite circle at an exclusive private members club, and if they choose to wear that disgusting egg-and-bacon tie that's entirely up to them. Your average cricket fan can buy a ticket and wear what he wants, even to Lords: gorilla costumes, Viking helmets; my husband once sat in the stands in his pants.

The golf dress code, on the other hand, is inflicted on every golfer in England who wants to occasionally get his sticks out and have a sunny round. No option, no opt out. The MCC dress code keeps the riff-raff out of the Pavillion at Lords, but the golf dress code keeps 'the wrong sort' out of the sport entirely. A very poor show indeed.

Photo of the Pavillion at Lords from mailliw on Flickr, and check you aren't infringing the Pavillion dress code here.