Practicing what I preach

So the reason can be so self-righteous in my last post is that a few months ago I decided to stop moping around about not improving as much as I would like. In other words, I decided to get pro-active on my ass.

I know! Revolutionary. After all, the reason people like to proclaim proudly that they've never had a lesson in their lives is that we would all like to be natural talents who could drive 250 yards the first time we stood on a range and never knew what it was to three-putt. Who wouldn't like to give the impression that they just were good at the game, with a nice swing and good touch around the greens? I'd be willing to guess most people would like to be people who didn't have to try.

Unfortunately, I was never going to be one of them, so I've had a few lessons. One of the most important lessons was that just having lessons wasn't good enough. Apparently (outrageously) I had to practice as well.

It took me a while to come to terms with this shocking revelation, but I have made a concerted effort to go to the driving range at least once during the week, preferably twice. One of these days I might even finish a bucket of balls. And I generally try to spend 5 minutes on the putting green at the end.

It's square and a bit sad, but I have been trying to play better golf.

I've seen plenty of people who are natural sports people be crap at golf, as well as plenty of people who are naturally crap at golf. Essentially I don't think there's any shame in being crap at golf. But I thought I'd give 'trying' a try – just don't tell anyone.

Photo from macwagen's photostream on Flickr

An update, so I can pretend there has never been any hiatus...

Things have been moving along in the normal way in the golf club. Lots of petty irritations, as well as a fair few petty people. It's not all bad though - I actually came second in a putting competition, so that really idiotic stance seems to have brought some measure of success.

Not in time for the Club Championship though, where, unlike some clubs, we have both a gross and a net competition. I wasn't displeased with my net 145 over 2 rounds, except that on nearly half of the greens I three-putted and I had 3x four-putts.

So it's obvious that putting is still my big weakness. I have finally given in and started doing a bit of putting practice, whenever I go to the range. This has been moderately successful, although the bar wasn't set very high to start with. My second-place in the putting competition was with 30 putts over 18 holes, which is bloody good putting, if I do say so myself. Unfortunately the success is patchy, and some days those buggers just don't drop. Oh well. Such is golf, apparently. Or it is for me.

Image from jnthnhys' photostream via Flickr

No-one wants to play in the rain

I skipped golf this week because of the monsoon-like rain. I wasn't the only one, actually: not a soul went out because it's very hard to swim in golf shoes.

Usually I don't mind playing in a bit of rain. I find it makes for a different challenge, and being a member of a golf club means that I can decide after 9 or 13 holes to pack it in because I haven't paid for 18 holes before I went out. Most of the people at my club tend not to play in anything more than a light mist. On the other hand AC grew up playing golf in Ireland so if he didn't play in the rain, he didn't play.

If you grow up playing golf in Thailand you don't have to worry about it, since if it rains it also lightnings, and most people would choose life-and-limb over golf. So Thongchai Jaidee in his prep for the Scottish Open at Loch Lomond, realising there was a strong chance of inclement weather, has been practicing playing in rain gear - in his native tropical sunshine, presumably to some funny looks. (Story from BBC's 606)

When you think about it, it makes perfect sense. Lots of people don't like playing in wet gear - your swing feels funny, there are annoying swooshy noises when you walk, y0ur pockets are in funny places - it's just uncomfortable enough to put you off, and hard to get used to.

Personally I'm feeling quite smug that I have solved the uncomfortable feeling with better wetgear - I'm currently wearing (not now - when I play) stuff by Cross, which is a woven stretch fabric and so comfortable I wear it when it's not raining as well.

It's a truth universally acknowledged, however, that golf in fine weather is much better.

Photo by Jekkyl on Flickr under the umbrella of the Creative Commons licence

On the subject of lost golf balls

The other Saturday I had a net 70 in the competition, with a couple of shockers in there. I was playing well, and I felt like my game was really coming together.

The following round I lost *ahem* golf balls. The round after, another *cough* balls. But at the same time I was hitting some huge, booming drives - longer than I've ever driven before – as long as the best women golfers at my club. My putting has also improved considerably: I'm now carding a good handful of one-putts. It seems I can either 4-point it or fall apart, usually on alternate holes.

Stupid game.

Photo from Chris Seufert's Flickr photostream

78 yards to the pin

So last weekend, in celebration of the US Open (see previous post) I went to Urban Golf in Soho and played Torrey Pines with some friends. I could blame my below-par performance on the cocktails, or on the unaccustomed clubs, or on the lighting in the booth - or on whatever you like. The upshot is that I played appallingly.

The closest culprit could be the graphics of the simulator – not that they're bad, but they are at best a 2-dimensional representation of a course, where in real life you would use your prrimate monkey-senses and your homo sapiens intelligence to judge the distance to the pin with your eyes. Oh evolution - Darwin would be pleased. In the simulator on the other hand, you're dependent on interpreting the size of the pixel flag or the computer's instructions: 78 yards to the flag; 28 foot putt.

My problem is that I am terrible at interpreting the image on the screen, but even worse at understanding yardages. 23 yards? How far's that then? I really have no clue. My friends started off with helpful advice, like “about as far as that wall” but before long I was just guessing. Still, it was hilarious and I wasn't the only one struggling, so I'm not too worried about it.

This inability to grasp yards as a way of measuring distance is something of a handicap though. The other day I blasted the biggest drive of my life, but I can't tell anyone how far it was, unless they know the course I play. “You know the fairway on the 8th, where it narrows and there's the tree on the left? And you know how the fairway has a kind of shelf? So my ball was like about this far past the top of the hump!”

Honestly, it was a really good drive.

Putting new wheels on the old bicycle doesn't make it a racer

My putting has always been the weakest part of my game. While my long game has come along nicely in the past few months, partly due to a club upgrade but mainly thanks to some long overdue lessons, and my chipping has generally been fairly reliable, putting is a let-down.

And if one more person says "drive for show, putt for dough!" I might possibly have to wrap a driver around their necks and shove a putter up their arses.

On the other hand, I also have to admit that I am starting to really feel the truth of that hackneyed old truism, and acknowledge that hitting a good fairway wood does not a good score make.

So it seems that I must at last take action if only to stop my playing partners rolling their eyes behind my head as I miss another 3-footer.

Of course, I'm always better constructing a strategy than executing one, so I've put a certain amount of thought into it and a lot less action.

1) Buy a book.
"Putting Out of Your Mind" by Big Bob Rotella duly purchased, is in a cupboard somewhere in the flat.

2) Read the book.
Yeah let's not get over-excited here. It's on the to-do list.

3) Buy a new putter.
This is the habitual go-to solution of some of the girls I play with. I'm not so much of a subscriber to the idea that new gear makes you a better golfer - proof of this fallacy being that my new putter has been in my bag for months with little perceptible improvement. However it can't be a bad investment considering my old one was part of of a starter set and had as much feel as a lead pipe.

4) Customise.
While I'm at it, I've had the putter shortened to a length appropriate to my height. Apparently the vast majority of women use their putter straight out of the box, but since the average player is a man it's likely to be too long for a lot of women.

5) Put new wheels on the bike.
So I've got a new putting stance. This stance makes me look like an idiot. I really hate it. I also hate that it was taught to me by one of those randoms you sometimes come across who think their advice is a) welcome and b) correct, but it seems to work at the moment, encouraging my stroke along the line as well as a more shoulder-generated action instead of being all arms.

6) Go on the putting green.
Yeah whatever. I'd rather be in the clubhouse with my fried egg sandwich, besides which - how square!? As if.

Maybe if things get desperate. I had three 3-putts on the back nine yesterday which knocked me back from carding 36 points, so let's see if steps 1, 3, 4 and 5 work before we get over-excited and implement steps 2 and 6.

(Photo from TorontoStreet's Flickr stream)